Yesterday at around five o'clock I started having Braxton Hicks contractions - which I'm used to at this point - on a semi-regular basis. As the minutes ticked by, they became more frequent and more intense. By 7:30, I was starting to think that maybe this was it! Labour! So, being my mother's child, I started cleaning. The thought going through my head wasn't "I'm going to have a baby!" but "This place must be spotless when I get home from the hospital!" It was weird, and kind of surprising. Anyways, after cleaning until I could clean no more, I slipped into the tub to try and relieve some of the intensity because at this point the contractions were getting pretty intense and the pressure in my back was unbelievable. I got out of the tub, checked to make sure I had everything packed and slipped into bed to read the 'How to Know If You're In Labour' sections of my pregnancy books. From what I gathered, it was just as likely that this was real as it was that it was false labour.
So, I called my mom. She made it pretty clear that she thought I should go to the hospital, and that I would end up having a baby at home if I didn't. However, after I hung up with her I thought about how tired I was and said to myself "You do not want to have a baby right now with no sleep." So I decided to try and sleep, figuring that if I was indeed in labour, I would either not be able to sleep, or I would wake up when it got intense enough for me to need to hop in the car and head for the hospital. On the other hand, if this was false labour I would most likely fall asleep and stay that way (until I needed to pee). So, being exhausted, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
I woke up this morning still pregnant. I was thrilled. I've been complaining lately that I'm sick of being pregnant and that I want to give birth NOW, but when I thought it was actually happening last night I was in a state of panic because Jim wasn't here. No matter how uncomfortable and impatient I am, I do not want to do this without him at my side. I can't even imagine it. So I had a chat with our little man this morning, and explained to him that while punctuality is an excellent quality to possess, making a habit of being too early can come off as obnoxious and rude, and he shouldn't develop a bad habit like that straight from the womb. I believe we have an understanding. As long as he can hold out until Friday when Jim arrives, I will be happy.
However, if he can give his dad and I just one day alone together before making his entrance (I'm dying to see Eat Pray Love) then I will be extra happy. :)
Only 2 1/2 more weeks...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
8 months down...one month to go!
As of yesterday, I am one month away from my due date (which I guess means today I'm less than a month away...) and I am thrilled. As magical *cough* and beautiful *cough cough* and truly magnificent *aaaahem* as pregnancy is, I seriously CAN NOT WAIT for it to be over! I want my body to be my own again. I want to be able to run and bend, and even just roll over in bed again! There are so many things I'm looking forward to being able to do again, and so many things I'm looking forward to not doing anymore (like peeing 30 times a day and having to sleep with 7 pillows arranged all around me) but the thing I am most looking forward to is the precious little human I get to love and hold and nurture.
It's so common to hear that women can't wait to 'meet' their babies, and I also can't wait for the moment I see him for the first time, but I already feel like I know him. After all, he's the little man I sing to in the mornings when I wake up and feel him start to squirm around inside. He's the little guy who affects every food and drink choice I make because I know those choices affect him too, the one who has taught me so much already about taking life as it comes and learning to roll with the punches (and kicks!) that come my way. He's the little guy who I tell to knock it off when I feel a foot creeping up into my ribs, and the one I feel sorry for when I notice burst blood vessels all over my belly because there is no more room in there! I'm anxious to hold him, nurse him, bathe him, feel his breath on my chest and his fingers wrap around mine, but I wouldn't say I'm anxious to 'meet' him. We're already old pals.
As my due date comes nearer and nearer I can't help but think about all of the things I'm excited for, but also the things I'm nervous about. What if my obsession with a healthy lifestyle makes him stand out like a sore thumb at school? Nobody is going to trade a toasted avocado sandwich on ezekiel bread for a snack pack! What if my love and patience wears thin and I lose my cool and make him cry? What if we have money problems and he has to go without something? What if I don't do a good enough job instilling the values and morals I place so much importance on and he ends up taking a wrong path? What if I can't accept that he has to make his own mistakes and follow his own path when the time comes? And what will I do on the day that will inevitably come, when he realizes I am not perfect, I don't have it all figured out, and I make bad choices sometimes too? All of these things run through my head constantly, leaving me feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
While I worry about the future, I also look forward to it. I wonder what kinds of things he will teach me, and how I will see things through a new set of eyes. I wonder how I will react in certain situations and how I will manage the stress of being a mother at the same time as I am deciding what to do career-wise. I'm so lucky to have the partner I have in Jim. In the situations where I need to do some work, he's got it figured out, and vice versa. So many people don't have that and I am seriously grateful. The fact that I will be able to hand him the baby and say "mom needs to go for a run" and know that he gets it is a huge comfort. Having someone to lean on is an incredible gift, and I never realized until I was faced with the reality of motherhood just how hard and scary it must have been for my mom to do it without a partner. I'm so glad she had my aunts, uncles and grandparents as a support system. I can't imagine doing this without Jim.
Now I'm aware of every tick of the minute hand, knowing that as the minutes and hours pass, I am coming closer and closer to being a mother. I'm still searching for the 'How To Be A Perfect Mother and Make No Mistakes' manual. If you know where I can get one, let me know! Until then, I'll just have to take the kicks as they come.
It's so common to hear that women can't wait to 'meet' their babies, and I also can't wait for the moment I see him for the first time, but I already feel like I know him. After all, he's the little man I sing to in the mornings when I wake up and feel him start to squirm around inside. He's the little guy who affects every food and drink choice I make because I know those choices affect him too, the one who has taught me so much already about taking life as it comes and learning to roll with the punches (and kicks!) that come my way. He's the little guy who I tell to knock it off when I feel a foot creeping up into my ribs, and the one I feel sorry for when I notice burst blood vessels all over my belly because there is no more room in there! I'm anxious to hold him, nurse him, bathe him, feel his breath on my chest and his fingers wrap around mine, but I wouldn't say I'm anxious to 'meet' him. We're already old pals.
As my due date comes nearer and nearer I can't help but think about all of the things I'm excited for, but also the things I'm nervous about. What if my obsession with a healthy lifestyle makes him stand out like a sore thumb at school? Nobody is going to trade a toasted avocado sandwich on ezekiel bread for a snack pack! What if my love and patience wears thin and I lose my cool and make him cry? What if we have money problems and he has to go without something? What if I don't do a good enough job instilling the values and morals I place so much importance on and he ends up taking a wrong path? What if I can't accept that he has to make his own mistakes and follow his own path when the time comes? And what will I do on the day that will inevitably come, when he realizes I am not perfect, I don't have it all figured out, and I make bad choices sometimes too? All of these things run through my head constantly, leaving me feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
While I worry about the future, I also look forward to it. I wonder what kinds of things he will teach me, and how I will see things through a new set of eyes. I wonder how I will react in certain situations and how I will manage the stress of being a mother at the same time as I am deciding what to do career-wise. I'm so lucky to have the partner I have in Jim. In the situations where I need to do some work, he's got it figured out, and vice versa. So many people don't have that and I am seriously grateful. The fact that I will be able to hand him the baby and say "mom needs to go for a run" and know that he gets it is a huge comfort. Having someone to lean on is an incredible gift, and I never realized until I was faced with the reality of motherhood just how hard and scary it must have been for my mom to do it without a partner. I'm so glad she had my aunts, uncles and grandparents as a support system. I can't imagine doing this without Jim.
Now I'm aware of every tick of the minute hand, knowing that as the minutes and hours pass, I am coming closer and closer to being a mother. I'm still searching for the 'How To Be A Perfect Mother and Make No Mistakes' manual. If you know where I can get one, let me know! Until then, I'll just have to take the kicks as they come.
Monday, August 9, 2010
34 weeks...tick-tock...tick-tock.
Well, I woke up this morning and it was still August so I'm pissed. Jim left for Sioux Lookout again on Saturday, and so began the longest four weeks of my life. I've been trying to make lemonade out of the situation and all I'm coming up with is that when this four weeks is over, we're together at last with no more goodbyes, and we will be 2 weeks away from having a baby! The tricky part is figuring out what the heck to do to fill up my time until then.
I actually have a lot to do. I still have a list of things to pick up for the baby (although we do have most necessities, so if he comes early we won't be diaper or carseat-less), lots of sewing to finish up (I still have two nursing covers, a changepad cover, a sling and a chair slipcover and a few pillows to sew), a couple of books to finish reading about holistic parenting and childbirth since I don't know how much time I will have to read once my little man is here, and lots of recipes to try out so I can figure out which ones to make and freeze in advance, and prepare grocery lists to make the first couple of weeks easier. Jeez...typing it out makes me feel like I should get my butt off the computer and hop to it! Oh, and I also have to finish the afghan I'm knitting for the baby. However, that's one thing that isn't urgent since I can knit once he's here too!
Last week we picked up a bunch of stuff to finish off the baby's room like clothes storage, stuff for a changing area, etc. Jim put up a shelf and curtain rod for me and I finished the 3rd (and last) painting I had planned for the room. Now once I have the slipcover for the second chair sewn, and the pictures of Jim and I developed and framed, the room will be complete! Speaking of which, I'll share a couple of the pictures on here.
The playpen arrived and is set up and ready! We also picked up our cloth diapers last week which was really exciting! We're using Bummis pre-folds and wraps (check them out online, they're painfully cute) and homemade wipes and washcloths in lieu of disposable diapers and chemical-soaked commercial wipes. I'm hoping disposable diapers will go the way of the do-do soon. However, we will have a few disposable diapers on hand for day trips and the odd day when I might need a pinch hitter when the diapers are all dirty and I'm sitting in the closet chewing on my hair because I don't want to do any more laundry. Cloth diapering is really easy though for people who have their own washer/dryer in the house, so while it may sound crazy, it's really a better choice, both for babies (organic unbleached cotton vs. synthetic & chemical-laden) wallets (a cloth diapering kit will pay for itself in 3 months instead of paying for disposable diapers for two years!) and the environment (disposable diapers are the third largest contributor to landfill waste in North America). Okay, I'm done ranting about the disposable diaper now.
I washed everything (and I mean everything that could go into a washing machine, did) and folded and put it all away, which was a magical experience. Washing and folding the clothes made me second-guess the amount of clothing we have and wonder if we needed more, but then I reminded myself that I didn't want to have a huge surplus of clothes and kicked that knee-jerk reaction's butt! I'm pretty anxious to have the nursery finished now that I'm in the home stretch. I go into the baby's room several times a day and just stand there, so excited for when there's a baby in it! After hours of research and reading reviews online we picked up a breast pump (I'll be using a manual one for now, since I'll only be pumping once a day for awhile) and a baby monitor. We decided to wait to buy a swing and baby carrier since they're not an absolute necessity and we need to watch the $$$ spending. We got the cutest baby bathtub I've ever seen! The carseat will arrive on Wednesday (thanks again Mom!) and once MEC get their butts in gear the stroller will be on it's way. We chose the BOB SUS jogging stroller. It's incredible, and I recommend you check it out online. The baby will be riding around in the cadillac of jogging strollers while I lose all this pesky weight. *I can't WAIT to get running again!*
Now as for me, the past couple of weeks have been hell pregnancy-wise. I've had intense pain from time to time from my pubic bone separating (which Dr. MacCara said is rare, but normal), sciatic pain so intense it makes me cry and an unbelievable amount of pressure in my lower back. Combine those with constant peeing, mood swings and an unbearably itchy belly and you've got me. Needless to say, I get grumpy from time to time and am 100% ready to give labour a try. On the bright side, the sciatic pain wasn't kicking around yesterday and seems to have taken a vacation today as well so I'm going to go enjoy a walk with Quincy while I can!
The baby is very active, and it's really fun to watch him move around in my belly. It's kind of weird to see things jabbing out and moving across the surface of my stomach, but also really wonderful to think that there's a little person in there who is tantalizingly close to being ready to come out and meet us. I can't wait!
Alright, well my butt hurts from sitting here typing too long, so I'm off for a walk with Quincy!
I actually have a lot to do. I still have a list of things to pick up for the baby (although we do have most necessities, so if he comes early we won't be diaper or carseat-less), lots of sewing to finish up (I still have two nursing covers, a changepad cover, a sling and a chair slipcover and a few pillows to sew), a couple of books to finish reading about holistic parenting and childbirth since I don't know how much time I will have to read once my little man is here, and lots of recipes to try out so I can figure out which ones to make and freeze in advance, and prepare grocery lists to make the first couple of weeks easier. Jeez...typing it out makes me feel like I should get my butt off the computer and hop to it! Oh, and I also have to finish the afghan I'm knitting for the baby. However, that's one thing that isn't urgent since I can knit once he's here too!
Last week we picked up a bunch of stuff to finish off the baby's room like clothes storage, stuff for a changing area, etc. Jim put up a shelf and curtain rod for me and I finished the 3rd (and last) painting I had planned for the room. Now once I have the slipcover for the second chair sewn, and the pictures of Jim and I developed and framed, the room will be complete! Speaking of which, I'll share a couple of the pictures on here.
The playpen arrived and is set up and ready! We also picked up our cloth diapers last week which was really exciting! We're using Bummis pre-folds and wraps (check them out online, they're painfully cute) and homemade wipes and washcloths in lieu of disposable diapers and chemical-soaked commercial wipes. I'm hoping disposable diapers will go the way of the do-do soon. However, we will have a few disposable diapers on hand for day trips and the odd day when I might need a pinch hitter when the diapers are all dirty and I'm sitting in the closet chewing on my hair because I don't want to do any more laundry. Cloth diapering is really easy though for people who have their own washer/dryer in the house, so while it may sound crazy, it's really a better choice, both for babies (organic unbleached cotton vs. synthetic & chemical-laden) wallets (a cloth diapering kit will pay for itself in 3 months instead of paying for disposable diapers for two years!) and the environment (disposable diapers are the third largest contributor to landfill waste in North America). Okay, I'm done ranting about the disposable diaper now.
I washed everything (and I mean everything that could go into a washing machine, did) and folded and put it all away, which was a magical experience. Washing and folding the clothes made me second-guess the amount of clothing we have and wonder if we needed more, but then I reminded myself that I didn't want to have a huge surplus of clothes and kicked that knee-jerk reaction's butt! I'm pretty anxious to have the nursery finished now that I'm in the home stretch. I go into the baby's room several times a day and just stand there, so excited for when there's a baby in it! After hours of research and reading reviews online we picked up a breast pump (I'll be using a manual one for now, since I'll only be pumping once a day for awhile) and a baby monitor. We decided to wait to buy a swing and baby carrier since they're not an absolute necessity and we need to watch the $$$ spending. We got the cutest baby bathtub I've ever seen! The carseat will arrive on Wednesday (thanks again Mom!) and once MEC get their butts in gear the stroller will be on it's way. We chose the BOB SUS jogging stroller. It's incredible, and I recommend you check it out online. The baby will be riding around in the cadillac of jogging strollers while I lose all this pesky weight. *I can't WAIT to get running again!*
Now as for me, the past couple of weeks have been hell pregnancy-wise. I've had intense pain from time to time from my pubic bone separating (which Dr. MacCara said is rare, but normal), sciatic pain so intense it makes me cry and an unbelievable amount of pressure in my lower back. Combine those with constant peeing, mood swings and an unbearably itchy belly and you've got me. Needless to say, I get grumpy from time to time and am 100% ready to give labour a try. On the bright side, the sciatic pain wasn't kicking around yesterday and seems to have taken a vacation today as well so I'm going to go enjoy a walk with Quincy while I can!
The baby is very active, and it's really fun to watch him move around in my belly. It's kind of weird to see things jabbing out and moving across the surface of my stomach, but also really wonderful to think that there's a little person in there who is tantalizingly close to being ready to come out and meet us. I can't wait!
Alright, well my butt hurts from sitting here typing too long, so I'm off for a walk with Quincy!
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