32 weeks!

Aloha! I'm laying in bed right now only half-awake trying to summon the motivation to shower and start the day, so I figured the most productive way to procrastinate would be to update the blog. Lucky you!

The past couple of weeks have been good, but also very hard. The bigger I get, the harder it is to move around. It's also quite hot here which basically results in me hanging out in the rec room with a fan blowing on me for most of the day. Jim has been gone for a week and 1/2, and will be back in 9 days...the time apart has been harder than it ever has, so that doesn't help. It might sound silly, but sometimes I think life will be easier when the baby is here (if you're a mother, I bet you're laughing at me right now) because the emotional ups-and-downs won't be so awful. At least when the baby is here my mood won't be so unpredictable and Jim will be here, so I won't be missing him most of the time. What a wonderful time that will be! AND the baby will be here. Yahoo!

I've had the weirdest, most unpredictable week sleep-wise. For three nights I got a combined total of 10 hours of sleep and wasn't able to nap during the days, then for the past three nights I got 7 hours, 7 hours and 9 hours, with an hour of napping during the day in between! I've been paying really close attention to what I do during the day so I can try to identify anything that might be helping me sleep at night, but nothing sticks out! Besides a change in position nothing is any different than usual, so I can only assume that my sleep position is kicking insomnia's butt, or that whether or not I sleep is a decision made by someone, somewhere (with a cruel sense of humour!).

I've finally found a prenatal yoga program that I'm really happy with (great timing, right?) and it's from a book instead of a video, which was surprising. It's the yoga routine from Deepak Chopra's Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives which is a guide to a holistic pregnancy and childbirth - right up my alley! It's been helpful with relieving some back pain, but pelvic lifts are getting really hard since I have this huge uterus to lift! It's like doing a pelvic lift with weights strapped on! However, learning to breathe and focus through yoga and meditation is said to be enormously helpful during labour, so I'm keeping at it no matter what!

I've started a chain of beads (an idea I got from a holistic pregnancy forum) representing every woman I know who has gone through labour. There is a different type of bead for every woman, and the number of beads represents how many children she has. So for an example, there's three of one bead representing my mom, two representing Auntie Laura, two for Auntie Debbie, four for Grammie, three for Shannon's mom Gwen, etc. The woman I got the idea from said it was really helpful during pregnancy to use the string of beads like a japa mala (hindu prayer beads). She would hold each bead in her hand while focusing on her breathing and reminding herself that every bead she held represented a birth that someone she knew had experienced and survived! I figured that's just the kind of hokey thing that would be perfect for me! It's just difficult finding new beads...

Since Jim left I've been a busy mommy bee setting up the nursery! I've been sewing like a maniac since I'm too stubborn to use a sewing machine and it looks great so far! I've sewed slipcovers for the rocking chair, nursing covers, a breastfeeding pillow and extra pillowcases for it and made pillows out of the extra fabric. I've also finished a painting for the room, hung curtains and gave the whole room a good disinfecting! I've been accumulating all the things on our to-buy-for-the-baby list, which is really fun, but also really overwhelming! I'm working through a 3-page list of basic necessities (baby shampoo, recieving blankets, breast pump, pacifiers, etc.) and it's really fun to cross stuff off, but not so fun to see how big the list still is after I do! I wanted to be mostly ready by the first week in August just in case the baby takes after me and decides to come early, but I don't think that's going to pan out! But I suppose that as long as we have diapers, the car seat and my boobs, then that's all we really need if he makes an early entrance!

As you probably know, we're using cloth diapers. We'll be ordering them while Jim is here the first week of August and I'm way more excited than I thought I'd be for them to arrive! I think it's because once the diapers are here I decided to give myself permission to finally wash everything and put it away, and get the changing area set up. I will enjoy every second of that experience! Auntie Laura told me when she got to do that for Genevieve, she washed everything and wouldn't let Uncle Denis help fold! She just blissfully did it all herself, and relished every second of it. I know it's going to make the anticipation even juicier!

Once I've got all of the basic baby necessities, that's when I'm going to pick up the not-so-fun stuff, like pyjamas for the hospital, nursing bras, nursing pads, underwear and lots of super-absorbent maxi-pads. I'm avoiding that purchase like the plague since I've enjoyed 7 and 1/2 blissful period-free months and am not happy about that little bit of magic coming back. The baby books say it can last for up to 6 weeks! I say that's cruel and unneessary! A woman who just went through pregnancy, gave birth and is now a sleep-deprived human milking machine shouldn't have to do all of that while bleeding. It's not fair. I really believe that if men and women had to trade off being pregnant every time they wanted a baby, there would be no families bigger than 3 out there! However, I also find it amazing that Jim has the mind-power and patience to put up with my mood swings. They can be nasty little buggers. The things I can get really worked up over are surprising (like the time I told Mom to go to hell when she asked to go pee before I took a shower one night...eeks...I'm still feeling bad about that one!) I've written myself a note to remind me that Jim is also going through this pregnancy, and even though he isn't experiencing morning sickness, insomnia, backaches, an upsetting amount of weight gain and mood swings from hell, he is putting up with a woman who is, and he too is feeling fear, anxiety and worry about becoming a new parent. Sometimes it's hard to remember that. Poor Jim. This is why people date for a couple of years, get married and then have kids after awhile. Oops! Ah well, I wouldn't be me if I weren't doing things in my own way, in my own time, and totally different than anyone would have expected!

Well, I can't hold my pee any longer (which is usually what makes me end up getting out of bed in the morning!) so off I go.

P.S. This blog is dedicated to Katie Rains, who paid her dear friend Kim a lovely visit on Wednesday. What a gem. :)

30 weeks...and it's freaking hot here!

First things first...sorry for being such a lazy blogger, but Jim was here for 10 days and frankly I just didn't make time. But now I have three long, depressing, Jim-free weeks full of blogging time.

Wednesday marked week 30, and it was a very exciting day for me! I felt like a Spartan woman just because I've made it this far without pulling out my eyelashes one by one. It's amazing how pregnancy has put me in touch with the feminist in me. It is truly incredible that we as women have the incredible power and the incredible gift of being able to bring forth a new life. That's something I'm going to try and remember more often in the next two months. It's funny though, as much as I complain sometimes and feel fat, uncomfortable and overheated a lot of the time, as time goes by, I become more and more open to the idea of doing this again. We'll see if that positive outlook survives labour...

My last OB appointment was another surprising one, with only one pound gained in three weeks, but 4 inches of belly growth! My pants and skirts are starting to fall down easily over my hips. I believe I'm gaining baby and losing fat...which is 100% okay with me, especially since besides eating a supremely healthy diet and trying to walk often (and it's actually more of a slow waddle than a walk these days) I am making no effort to lose it! It's a pregnant woman's dream! Maybe by the time I give birth I will be back to my normal size...

Probably not.

Today I picked up the ingredients to make a breastfeeding pillow, slipcovers for the pillow, and nursing covers! It was a lot of fun to pick out fabrics for them. They're all baby-patterned super-soft flannel and they're adorable! Instead of using a sewing machine I'm doing them all by hand. I like the idea of putting the extra time in, especially because while I'm making them I'll be full of love and excitement. Sappy as it sounds, the more love and care I put into making something the more special it seems. This month I will be getting the nursing room ready. Since we've decided to wait until we've moved into wherever we will be living once Jim is back to work in November (and we don't know where that will be yet) to get the nursery furniture, we'll be having the bassinet in our bedroom, and turning the baby's room into a nursing/changing room. That means over the next few weeks I will be getting that all ready which is really fun and exciting. I'll put up pictures when it's finished.

Pregnancy-wise the past couple of weeks have been a little more difficult than what I had been getting used to. It's hard to get comfortable at night, therefore it's also kind of hard to fall asleep. But as soon as I find a comfortable position I fall asleep almost instantly which is nice. I'm usually up 2-4 times to pee at night, which has just become a normal part of my night so I really don't mind that at all. I wake up really hungry around 7am, but a banana or bowl of cereal is usually enough to satiate me enough to go back to sleep. My lower back has had a bit of a dull ache lately, which gets really uncomfortable sometimes, especially in the evening when it gets pretty sore, and my pelvic bone feels like it has a bowling ball resting on it sometimes. Jim can attest to the fact that my emotions are at an all-time high right now, with the smallest thing reducing me to tears. It's incredibly annoying, especially when I'm trying to say something but I'm crying and can't get it out, and don't even know why I'm crying. I'm looking forward to the day when I feel like myself again.

The baby's kicks are getting pretty intense, but except for bedtime kicking, I enjoy it alot. He has a pretty distinct pattern of waking and sleepng now, which I find fascinating. I've been getting into meditation and pranayama (yogic breathing exercises) to help prepare me for labour. I still wish I had a good prenatal yoga video to use, but they're not an easy find.

I spent hours this week researching strollers and ended up picking the Porsche of jogging strollers. It has 16" wheels, awesome shock absorption, hand and back wheel brakes, a wrist strap for hilly runs, fully reclines, can be made carseat-compatible and is meant for off-road walking and jogging. I couldn't find a single bad review of it which was the biggest seller for me. I can't wait to get out running again! I know it's going to be a very different running experience than I'm used to with a stroller in front of me, but I don't care, I know it's going to feel fantastic to pound the pavement again. I've promised Jim I'll be pacing myself and that I won't end up going race-crazy and hurting myself again which might be a hard promise to keep at times, but I know I'll be doing myself a favour by taking it slow and easy for awhile.

Well, it's time to get sewing!